holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
