her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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