Dual....:-)
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
