But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
