The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
