My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
