would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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