you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
