what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
