can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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