Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
