she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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