She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
