Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
