I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
