community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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