Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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