would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You are a genius and a whore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
