My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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