dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize