You made me cry and you don't even care
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
