im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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