I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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