4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
