I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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