The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize