Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
