I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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