grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I did not marry a roomba.
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