Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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