i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
