I think my vagina is haunted
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
