yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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