she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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