I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
