Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
