Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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