Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize