Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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