No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
