you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
