I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize