It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
