So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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