I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
