Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
