we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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