So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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