She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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