It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
