and she was petting her beer can
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
