I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
