I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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