One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
