he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize