I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
